Author: Jerry Waxler
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Peel back the mysteries of childhood
By Jerry Waxler, jerry@jerrywaxler.com Watching my nephew put a coat on his two-year-old daughter got me thinking about the parts of childhood most of us forget. She was on the floor flailing and screaming. Sensing my curiosity, my nephew looked up at me and said, “She’s screaming as if she’s being murdered.” It was true.…
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Memoirs offer a new approach to suffering
When Siddhartha first encountered suffering he ran away to the jungle. When I first encountered suffering, I went into a rage, determined to fix the world. Instead of changing the world, Iury, fell apart. That’s when I ran away, but not to the jungle. I ended up living in a garage in Berkeley, one step…
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Beyond Kubler-Ross, memoir as a new language for grief
Her enhanced ability to express her feelings pulled her out of the darkness and opened her toward other people. Like a spelunker lost in a cave, she sensed that by following the fresh air offered by letter-writing, she might find her way back to the surface.
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Unwrapping the gift of birth somewhere toward the end
If she shares the sorrow of her situation in some places, even misery, I’m okay with that. Because I expect her to follow the genre’s premise: that as she strives to cope with her situation, she will find kernels of truth, and even joy.
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The New Social Etiquette
A newcomer to the memoir genre might wonder why so many stories relate to loss, grief, dysfunctional relationships and other topics most of us would rather avoid. In ordinary conversation, we rarely open a window into our personal lives. Mentioning past pain is definitely out of bounds. So, when asked how we’re doing, we just…
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The Journey of Ethnic Identity in America
I once met a woman in my cultural diversity program who, when asked the origins of her ancestry, said she had no idea. It was the first time it occurred to me that an adult could not know their own ethnic identity. My First Ethnic Identity When I grew up in the fifties, Philadelphia was…
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Siblings disagree: family feuds in memoirs
When I hear the word “siblings,” I picture kids riding bikes together, playing games, and watching each other’s backs. In that pleasant fantasy, these children grow up to be allies. In real life, though, adult siblings are not always best friends. In fact, disputes among siblings go all the way back to the Garden of…
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How memoirs enhance emotional intelligence (EQ)
When I was younger, anytime someone expressed an emotion I felt offended. “Why are they bothering me with what they are feeling?” During that period my lack of interest in feelings led me to reading science fiction. The focus on problem solving and adventure enabled me to stay aloof from the complexities of emotional life.…
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Crafting your memoir restores meaning after loss
No matter how hard we try to push down old pains, they sometimes climb out of their graves like zombies. Some people try to drown their memories, pretending not to notice that the alcohol makes their pain stronger. Some lose themselves in work, which is good for the paycheck but not so good for the…
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The Memoirist’s Manifesto: Savor it all!
To get the most out of life, don’t let that sweet sunset or that baby’s smile slide by. Your job as an aware human being is to appreciate every moment. Allowing yourself to fully absorb the present is touted by Buddhists, hippies, and poets. It is also promoted by positive psychologists who say that savoring…
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