http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog Hundreds of Essays and Interviews to Help You Read and Write Memoirs Tue, 15 May 2012 12:09:55 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 2006-2007 jerrywaxler@yahoo.com (Jerry Waxler) jerrywaxler@yahoo.com (Jerry Waxler) Self-help 1440 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/podpress/images/LearnMemoirCoverFront-small.jpg http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog 144 144 Reading and writing memoirs. Record the Stories of Your Life, tips, how-to, memoir book reviews, by Jerry Waxler memoir, writers, self-help, book-reviews, essays Jerry Waxler Jerry Waxler jerrywaxler@yahoo.com no no http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/faq-fears-publishing-memoir/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/faq-fears-publishing-memoir/#comments Fri, 10 Sep 2010 12:33:25 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=882 Continue reading →]]> http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/faq-fears-publishing-memoir/feed/ 1 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/coming-of-age-memoirs/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/coming-of-age-memoirs/#comments Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:48:51 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=722 Continue reading →]]> http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/coming-of-age-memoirs/feed/ 5 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/mothers-daughter-abandonment/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/mothers-daughter-abandonment/#comments Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:03:21 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=231 Continue reading →]]> http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/mothers-daughter-abandonment/feed/ 0 0:09:07 This book demonstrates the power of persistence. By crafting the story until she got it right, Linda Joy Myers discovered amidst the wreckage of that little girl's childhood an intact human being, complete with courage, confidence, and dreams. Story[...] This book demonstrates the power of persistence. By crafting the story until she got it right, Linda Joy Myers discovered amidst the wreckage of that little girl's childhood an intact human being, complete with courage, confidence, and dreams. Storytelling transformed her heartbreaking childhood into one stage in a much longer saga. Her suffering and then her healing provide both a tragedy and an inspiration about the wisdom a human can achieve in one life time. Service Jerry Waxler no no http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/too-many-secrets-hide-my-spark/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/too-many-secrets-hide-my-spark/#comments Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:51:06 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/too-many-secrets-hide-my-spark/ Continue reading →]]> http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/too-many-secrets-hide-my-spark/feed/ 8 0:00:01 by Jerry Waxler (This blog is also available as an audio file. See the Podcast player control at the end of this post.) When I was 12 years old, I used to sneak out by myself and set fire to autumn leaves. The excitement of the flames blinded me to [...] by Jerry Waxler (This blog is also available as an audio file. See the Podcast player control at the end of this post.) When I was 12 years old, I used to sneak out by myself and set fire to autumn leaves. The excitement of the flames blinded me to the danger. Fortunately I never did any damage and was never caught, but now I look back on my actions with horror. I hate the way these memories make me feel, and generally avoid talking about things that make me sound like a criminal. As I work on my memoir, such memories confuse me. Should I include them or leave them out? Of course I could pretend they never happened. But that solution perpetuates a problem I’ve been trying to overcome since I was a child. I used to believe that people weren’t supposed to have emotions, and I did my best to pretend I had none. The earliest example of this belief comes from seventh grade. I was scandalized when my fellow classmates burst into laughter over some sexual innuendo. How childish! To distance myself from humiliating feelings, I spent my teenage years doing homework or working at my dad’s drugstore. When I wanted a break, I read science fiction novels. This tendency to separate myself from emotions made me seem distant and aloof. I was in a sort of self-imposed exile from the human condition. It took years to break through my own walls. Gradually with the help of therapy, a graduate program in counseling, and the support of compassionate friends, I learned that emotions are as necessary for a satisfying life as eating. I knew I was making progress when, in my fifties, I walked into the office at Villanova University’s graduate program in counseling psychology. Two of my tenured professors were experimenting with a remote controlled whoopee cushion. They roared with laughter every time the device let loose a simulated fart. I laughed along with them, perhaps not with their childlike glee, but at least I wasn’t horrified, the way I would have been when I was 12. Now that I’m writing my memoir, I wrestle with every detail that was illegal, immoral, or embarrassing. It all seems so private, and yet it’s all part of my life. How do I decide? To do this right, I remember that the end product of my disclosure is not an encyclopedia. It’s a story. When Michelangelo was sculpting David, he started with a block of granite, and tossed away the rubble to expose the beauty hidden within. By writing a memoir I must discover the real me in a pleasing form. I dredge through memories, not certain yet what to put in. At this stage, I’m just looking for the raw material. The most dramatic period was during my college years at the University of Wisconsin in Madison during the Vietnam War protests. My adult years are less colorful. I reminisce about my visit to the Great Pyramids on my 30th birthday, and then feel the frustration on my 31st birthday when my boss ordered me to help clean out the septic system. I slip again into the turmoil of my adolescent years, and as I muse I notice a powerful connection. Around the same time I was in junior high school glowering at classmates for laughing at sexual references, I was sneaking out at night on secret missions to start fires. Wow. Freud claimed that if repressed emotions don’t come out one way they’ll come out another. My adolescence would have made a terrific demonstration of his point. That’s interesting but must I write it in a memoir for all to see? My childhood preference tells me to skip the whole mess. But to sanitize my story means overriding decades of effort to break out of this shell. Without edgy moments, my memoir will be about a boring person. If I include them, I will be able to show the tension between what is and what can be. By acknowledging the messiness of the journey, I not only make myself appear more human. I discover some of the most exhilarating aspects of my experience. My imperfections are exactly what for[...] How-to Jerry Waxler no no