Comments on: Fearlessly Confessing the Dark Side of Memory in this Memoir of Sexual Abuse

By: Shirley

Shirley — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:21:57 +0000

Jerry, as I prepare to give a speech on the purpose of memory, I began to think about the dark side of memory. My inclination is always toward the light, and so I need to think consciously about the dark. Your excellent revew and reflections above offer hope and understanding to those who otherwise might be haunted by memories of abuse. Thank you!

By: 100 Top Memoirs: Sue Silverman’s List Will Give You Even More! | 100 Memoirs

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 01:58:40 +0000

[...] and review with Sue about “Fearless Confessions” on Story Circle Book Review website. Read a review of “Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You” Read a review on “venuszine” that compares the movie “Love Sick” with [...]

By: Garret

Garret — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 20:59:33 +0000

Seems to me the more we learn about the situations that enabled the perpetrators to keep their secrets, the more we can see the symptoms displayed by those who may be current victims. This can help us make some progress in being better prepared to help the predator as well as the preyed upon.

Garret

By: jerrywaxler

jerrywaxler — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 12:50:09 +0000

Thanks for your comment, Monty. I am glad to hear you too are organizing your own experience into a story you can share.

Naturally you are free to disagree with anything I say, but in reading your comment over several times I don’t find anything in it I disagree with. Presumably the problem was in my choice of words. These tiny words, these squiggles on the page, seem so inadequate to express the horror and scope of life, and yet to not try to use our words leaves the horror to have its way with us. So we try, and fail, and try again.

Best wishes with your writing. Please keep in touch.

Jerry

By: Monty

Monty — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 06:44:09 +0000

I good article, and I agree with thrust of it, with a few notable exceptions.

The appropriate reactions to stories of abuse extend well beyond horror and rage. Compassion is one–for the victim, and by extension, for all victims of violence. Curiosity is another–for what we can learn from one person’s story sheds light on how abuse can be ferreted out and prevented. Celebration/acknowledgement–honoring the writer with the courage and determination and luck and whatever else it took to dig deep and persevere and write an ugly truth well enough that people will read it.

It is also important to be aware that no two people process abuse the same way. Some are far more sensitve than others, and are traumatized every time they revisit the images that haunt them. Some can barely get through life simply by walling off the memories and keeping their focus on the now. These people are no less, nor more, courageous than people like me and Silverman, who dig for understanding. Everybody processes their stuff in the best way they can. We do what we feel we must.

From the viewpoint of one who is well into the process of writing about horrendous institutional aubse at a Texas orphanage, I commend Silverman for her accomplishment. It takes much more than mere courage to produce writing about abuse that is accessible to the general public.