http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog 200 Essays and Interviews to Help You Read and Write Memoirs Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:38:44 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Copyright © 2010 Memory Writers Network jerrywaxler@yahoo.com (Jerry Waxler) jerrywaxler@yahoo.com (Jerry Waxler) Self-help 1440 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/podpress/images/LearnMemoirCoverFront-small.jpg http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog 144 144 Reading and writing memoirs. Record the Stories of Your Life, tips, how-to, memoir book reviews, by Jerry Waxler memoir, writers, self-help, book-reviews, essays Jerry Waxler Jerry Waxler jerrywaxler@yahoo.com no no http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/compare-journal-memoir/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/compare-journal-memoir/#comments Fri, 07 May 2010 10:34:44 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=776 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/compare-journal-memoir/feed/ 3 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/is-writing-a-memoir-therapeutic/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/is-writing-a-memoir-therapeutic/#comments Tue, 04 Aug 2009 10:57:28 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/is-writing-a-memoir-therapeutic/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/is-writing-a-memoir-therapeutic/feed/ 14 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/anecdotes-story-beliefs/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/anecdotes-story-beliefs/#comments Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:02:04 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=359 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/anecdotes-story-beliefs/feed/ 1 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/ideas-change-memoirs/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/ideas-change-memoirs/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2009 13:30:11 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=343 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/ideas-change-memoirs/feed/ 6 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/orion-memoir-midlife-crisis/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/orion-memoir-midlife-crisis/#comments Wed, 27 Aug 2008 10:42:58 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=193 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/orion-memoir-midlife-crisis/feed/ 1 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/faith-blindness-sight/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/faith-blindness-sight/#comments Mon, 04 Aug 2008 11:15:23 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=160 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/faith-blindness-sight/feed/ 7 00:01:01 By Jerry Waxler (You can listen to the podcast version by clicking the player control at the bottom of this post or download it from iTunes.) David ... By Jerry Waxler (You can listen to the podcast version by clicking the player control at the bottom of this post or download it from iTunes.) David Sheff's memoir "Beautiful Boy" oscillates between the uplifting joy of his son's Coming of Age, and the tragedy of his son's tragic fall into addiction to crystal meth. All the ugly stuff is there, how Nic lied, broke in and stole from his own parents and neighbors, slept in alleys and drug houses but refused help. And then there were the drug-free periods when this beautiful boy was back, a delightful human being, full of creative spirit and enormous promise. Sheff, a professional journalist, recounted his son's self-destructive journey, starting with the first suspicions. Then came the confrontations, the efforts to control his son's behavior, and the gut wrenching worry. The horrible fact is that millions of parents ask themselves every day or even every hour, "Where is my child?" "Will this be the call from the police?" "What must I do to stop the downward slide?" "Should I pay for another round of rehab, or is that last relapse a sign that I must write this child out of my life?" The book has all the elements of a compelling drama. There is the author's loving second wife, and their two sweet younger children. There is the constant anxiety, and the play by play experience of watching the son grow up, and then fall apart. Sheff applies his journalism skills to report on the special hazards of methamphetamine addiction: the high rate of relapse after rehab; the irrational behavior of the addict when craving the drug or under its influence; the denial and lying. And then, the experience begins to take a toll on David Sheff himself. It's no secret that stress undermine health, and sure enough, the author's extended periods of frantic worry almost kill him. About two thirds of the way through the book David has a life threatening brain hemorrhage. Until then, Nic's father and step-mother had been going to Al-Anon meetings and hearing that they cannot change the addict. The addict himself is the only one who can do that. Al-Anon's message is that the people around the addict need to figure out how to take care of themselves. But a parent's job is to take care of a child. Right? So while hearing the Al-Anon messages they had not yet embraced them. Now, after the hemorrhage, they have no choice. At last, we remember this memoir is by the father, and now the story shifts inward to his own introspective journey. Nic's biological mother had played only a minor role through the course of the book. David rarely spoke to her, except to make arrangements to hand Nic back and forth between the two homes, one with dad in northern California during summer and the other with mom in southern California during the school year. When Nic started disappearing, they called each other to get information about where he might be. Three pages from the end of the book, Nic's biological parents have their first therapy session together. It turns out that they went through a bitter divorce when Nic was little more than a toddler. I try to understand what it felt like to be Nic, raised by parents who resented each other and who lived hundreds of miles apart. I don't know whether to laugh in relief or cry in rage that it has taken this much anguish to force these two people into a therapy session with their son. I, as do most therapists, believe that all the members of a family influence each other. With his two parents split apart, I picture Nic split apart inside himself, too. It must have taken a superhuman effort to hold these warring parts of himself together. For most of the book, I was sucked into the premise that it was all about Nic. When will he come back? Will he completely resolve the addiction? But that's the son's journey. I finally realize this is David Sheff's' memoir. I want to understand more about his inner world. Will he awaken psychologically and spiritually, so Addiction, Family, Introspection, Memoirs, Storytelling Jerry Waxler no no http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/good-shame-improves-memories/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/good-shame-improves-memories/#comments Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:44:33 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/good-shame-improves-memories/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/good-shame-improves-memories/feed/ 5 00:01:01 John Bradshaw teaches me lessons about shame. One Friday night, I drove 50 miles to Philadelphia to hear a lecture by John Bradshaw, the author of bestsellers "Homecoming" and "Healing the Shame that Binds You." He has been writing about shame for so long the Philadelphia Inquirer dubbed him the Shaman of Shame. Despite his world-class credentials, I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend an evening learning about this edgy topic when I could be relaxing at home. But curiosity prevailed, and I'm glad I went. The evening's insights have helped me answer some of the deepest mysteries of my life. My powerful ah-ha resulted from Bradshaw's simple observation that there are two types of shame. Introspection, Trauma Jerry Waxler no no http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/relive-your-memoir-by-acting-pursuit-of-happyness/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/relive-your-memoir-by-acting-pursuit-of-happyness/#comments Tue, 09 Oct 2007 10:49:31 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/relive-your-memoir-by-acting-pursuit-of-happyness/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/relive-your-memoir-by-acting-pursuit-of-happyness/feed/ 12 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/what-to-do-with-regrets-in-your-memoir/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/what-to-do-with-regrets-in-your-memoir/#comments Sat, 14 Jul 2007 10:23:41 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/what-to-do-with-regrets-in-your-memoir/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/what-to-do-with-regrets-in-your-memoir/feed/ 1 http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/life-and-death-in-memoir/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/life-and-death-in-memoir/#comments Mon, 25 Jun 2007 11:20:06 +0000 jerrywaxler http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/life-and-death-in-memoir/ http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/life-and-death-in-memoir/feed/ 0