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	<title>Memory Writers Network &#187; Grief/Loss</title>
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	<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog</link>
	<description>Hundreds of Essays and Interviews to Help You Read and Write Memoirs</description>
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	<language>en</language>
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	<copyright>2006-2007 </copyright>
	<managingEditor>jerrywaxler@yahoo.com (Jerry Waxler)</managingEditor>
	<webMaster>jerrywaxler@yahoo.com (Jerry Waxler)</webMaster>
	<category>Self-help</category>
	<ttl>1440</ttl>
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		<title>Memory Writers Network</title>
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	<itunes:subtitle>Reading and writing memoirs.</itunes:subtitle>
	<itunes:summary>Record the Stories of Your Life, tips, how-to, memoir book reviews, by Jerry Waxler</itunes:summary>
	<itunes:keywords>memoir, writers, self-help, book-reviews, essays</itunes:keywords>
	<itunes:category text="Health">
		<itunes:category text="Self-Help" />
	</itunes:category>
	<itunes:category text="Society &#38; Culture">
		<itunes:category text="Personal Journals" />
	</itunes:category>
	<itunes:category text="Arts">
		<itunes:category text="Literature" />
	</itunes:category>
	<itunes:author>Jerry Waxler</itunes:author>
	<itunes:owner>
		<itunes:name>Jerry Waxler</itunes:name>
		<itunes:email>jerrywaxler@yahoo.com</itunes:email>
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		<item>
		<title>Make sense of loss: Grieving in Memoirs</title>
		<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/grieving-in-memoirs/</link>
		<comments>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/grieving-in-memoirs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Jun 2011 11:49:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerrywaxler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Grief/Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memoir]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mourning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[seeking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=1208</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[To turn this sequence into a continuous narrative, we look for lessons from other authors who have done the same thing. Here are several examples of memoirs that describe the journey of grief. Each book demonstrates how to collect the upheavals of life into the container of a story. <a href="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/grieving-in-memoirs/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/grieving-in-memoirs/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Revealing Death and Other Courageous Acts of Life</title>
		<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/two-waxler-workshop/</link>
		<comments>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/two-waxler-workshop/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 May 2011 11:38:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerrywaxler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief/Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing Workshop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Addiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Creative Nonfiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memoir]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Montgomery county community college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philadelphia Writers Conference]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[professor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[umass]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Waxler]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[workshop]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=1185</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Then it was my job to turn the audience's attention back to their own goals. I realized there wasn't enough time to conduct a real workshop, but in the small amount of time available, I wanted to convince everyone that the problems of writing a memoir are solvable. "When you look back through your memories, they fly out at you in a variety of bits and pieces, entangled in time, and at first only make sense to you. As you write scenes and accumulate them in sequence, they begin to take shape. As you see the material of your life take shape on the page, you gradually tame the flood of memories and begin to craft them into a story worth reading." <a href="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/two-waxler-workshop/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/two-waxler-workshop/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Courage to Write, Passion to Read</title>
		<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/courage-walk-review/</link>
		<comments>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/courage-walk-review/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Jun 2010 11:50:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerrywaxler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Book Review]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief/Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bibliophile]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Literature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mourning]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=817</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Before I even purchased the book, I knew from the blurb that the author was an English Literature professor at the University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth. I knew that "Courage to Walk," was about the crippling and potentially deadly illness of a second son, and I knew about the death of Robert and Linda's oldest son, Jonathan.  <a href="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/courage-walk-review/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/courage-walk-review/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A memoir of mourning helps make sense of loss</title>
		<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/memoir-mourning-son/</link>
		<comments>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/memoir-mourning-son/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 May 2010 10:27:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerrywaxler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief/Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality/Transcendence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Addiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fathers and sons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Literature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memoir]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mourning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parents]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Waxler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=786</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Now I realize after reading "Losing Jonathan" that I loved the Waxlers' memoir for similar reasons. Like Kate Braestrup they were on a quest to wrest their sanity back from the abyss. At first they were thirsty for support from their community. Then, after five years, Linda suggested, "We should try to write a book. It would be a way of honoring Jonathan's life. Sustaining it." The suggestion reflected Linda's desire now to give back to the community some of the strength they had given her. And the vehicle for their gift was a book. <a href="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/memoir-mourning-son/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/memoir-mourning-son/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Catch-up grief: how visiting my brother helped me grow</title>
		<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/grief-brother-grow/</link>
		<comments>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/grief-brother-grow/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Nov 2009 11:13:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerrywaxler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Grief/Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My own life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grieving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memoir]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=665</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As I write my memoir, these 32 years later, I discover the gaping hole his death created, as if I was postponing my grief until I was mature enough to better understand what happened. I now watch our relationship unfold in slow motion, and this time I intend to learn as much as possible about what happened and what I missed. <a href="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/grief-brother-grow/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/grief-brother-grow/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Memoir interview about privacy, activism, style</title>
		<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/memoir-interview-mirriam-goldberg-2/</link>
		<comments>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/memoir-interview-mirriam-goldberg-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:34:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerrywaxler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Author Interview]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage to Write]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief/Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Idealism/Meaning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Regional Memoir]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BRAC1]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[essay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Goddard College]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[interview]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Judaism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memoir]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[transcendence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=606</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I hope the book does inspire people to, most of all, learn more about their environment, and from that learning, develop a greater connection with their local land, which will naturally lead to the kind of advocacy and stewardship that creates enduring ecological change. I also hope the book helps people see not just more of the connections between cancer and ecological degradation and destruction, but between healing and finding kinship with the trees, fields, birds, skies and other aspects of our homes around us. <a href="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/memoir-interview-mirriam-goldberg-2/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/memoir-interview-mirriam-goldberg-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A dog made famous by an expert storyteller</title>
		<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/marley-grogan-dog-memoir/</link>
		<comments>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/marley-grogan-dog-memoir/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Jul 2009 10:55:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerrywaxler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Grief/Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pets/Animals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[buddy story]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[essay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[foreshadowing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marley and Me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memoir]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mortality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suspense]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=547</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There's nothing fantastic or magnificent about a young family and a dog. And so, to earn its success it must have been told exceptionally well. That offers an excellent learning opportunity for the rest of us who want to turn the events of our lives into stories worth reading. <a href="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/marley-grogan-dog-memoir/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/marley-grogan-dog-memoir/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
			<enclosure url="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/podpress_trac/feed/547/0/marley.mp3" length="2895872" type="audio/mpeg" />
		<itunes:duration>0:08:02</itunes:duration>
		<itunes:subtitle>There's nothing fantastic or magnificent about a young family and a dog. And so, to earn its success it must have been told exceptionally well. That offers an excellent learning opportunity for the rest of us who want to turn the events of our lives[...]</itunes:subtitle>
		<itunes:summary>There's nothing fantastic or magnificent about a young family and a dog. And so, to earn its success it must have been told exceptionally well. That offers an excellent learning opportunity for the rest of us who want to turn the events of our lives into stories worth reading.</itunes:summary>
		<itunes:keywords>Grief/Loss, Pets/Animals</itunes:keywords>
		<itunes:author>Jerry Waxler</itunes:author>
		<itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit>
		<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Life with a famous parrot, Alex and Me by Irene Pepperberg</title>
		<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/alex-parrot-memoir/</link>
		<comments>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/alex-parrot-memoir/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:19:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerrywaxler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Grief/Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Interspecies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Science]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[African Gray]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[companion animal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intelligence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memoir]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parrot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scientific revolution]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/?p=477</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Jerry Waxler I first learned about Alex while I was on a spiritual retreat in the mountains of eastern Pennsylvania. Our host played a video of a talking African Gray parrot named Alex. Alex&#8217;s trainer, Dr. Irene Pepperberg held &#8230; <a href="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/alex-parrot-memoir/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/alex-parrot-memoir/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
			<enclosure url="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/podpress_trac/feed/477/0/famousparrot.mp3" length="2658304" type="audio/mpeg" />
		<itunes:duration>0:07:23</itunes:duration>
		<itunes:subtitle>by Jerry Waxler
I first learned about Alex while I was on a spiritual retreat in the mountains of eastern Pennsylvania. Our host played a video of a talking African Gray parrot named Alex. Alex&#8217;s trainer, Dr. Irene Pepperberg held a tray of ob[...]</itunes:subtitle>
		<itunes:summary>by Jerry Waxler
I first learned about Alex while I was on a spiritual retreat in the mountains of eastern Pennsylvania. Our host played a video of a talking African Gray parrot named Alex. Alex&#8217;s trainer, Dr. Irene Pepperberg held a tray of objects and asked questions. For example, she asked &#8220;which square?&#8221; and the parrot answered, &#8220;green,&#8221; because the square object was colored green. She asked &#8220;which same?&#8221; and Alex correctly said &#8220;key&#8221; because the keys were all made of cork. He even concocted his own words, for example describing an almond as a &#8220;cork-nut,&#8221; a word he was never taught.
Tell me more about that parrot
Alex was cute, zany and unpredictable, and while Pepperberg watched him learn, he was teaching her about the mind of a bird. His bobbing head, hyper-alert eyes, and clever voice mesmerized me, making me an instant fan. I was not alone. Everyone who saw Alex fell in love with him. A few years later I heard that the parrot died, a loss that surprised and saddened me. Then I saw the memoir &#8220;Alex and Me&#8221; by Irene Pepperberg, and thought, &#8220;Hey, I know that bird!&#8221;
The book starts with Alex&#8217;s sudden, unexpected death in 2007, followed by the outpouring of sympathy from around the world. Pepperberg read a sampling of the letters and obituaries from Alex&#8217;s many admirers. As each one played upon my heart, I was amazed at how much compassion they stirred. Like a group hug, Alex&#8217;s well wishers were drawing me in to Pepperberg&#8217;s pain.
Outpouring of compassion creates secondary compassion
I looked for a similar effect in my own life and remembered my mother&#8217;s memorial service. Her old friends came up to me and said &#8220;You were lucky to have such a great mom&#8221; and &#8220;I admired her so much,&#8221; and &#8220;We miss her.&#8221; Later, I turned their comments over in my mind, and was awed at the complexity of emotions.
How much were they seeking to support me, and how much were they hoping that somehow my presence could help them relieve their own grief? These moments showed me how intertwined we all are. During our communal grieving, we were each trying to make sense of what just happened, while supporting each other as we moved forward.
Writing Prompt
When in your life did empathy flow towards you? Was it related to the death or illness of a loved one? Or did others reach out to comfort you when you were in the hospital yourself? Describe the scene, keeping in mind that it will give the reader an opening through which they too can feel connected.
Emotional Bonds to Our Companion Animals
Dr. Pepperberg and Alex were close companions and so the book turned out to be a buddy story between human and bird. Sharing genuine emotions with animals has become widely respected, as evidenced by the runaway success of &#8220;Marley and Me,&#8221; by John Grogan, a memoir about the author&#8217;s relationship with a dog.
To make the relationship even deeper, Dr. Pepperberg showed how it evolved over the years. At first, she tried to maintain distance in order to create an objective, scientific perspective. She worked with him closely for years. Then after Alex died, Irene cried and cried, making her and her readers realize how deeply emotionally involved she had become..
Writing prompt
List your pets, and other encounters with critters. When you remember a scene, stop listing and start writing. See if you can string a few scenes together to show how the relationship changed over time.
Structure of a story, beginning, middle, and end
Every memoir writer seeks excellent story structure. Pepperberg&#8217;s memoir offers a couple of insights. For one thing, she grabs our attention with a bang, shocking the reader into the midst of the action, a technique the Greeks called &#8220;in medias res.&#8221; Then the story returns to the beginning, and moves forward through the long middle, towards an ending that resolv[...]</itunes:summary>
		<itunes:keywords>Grief/Loss, Interspecies, Science</itunes:keywords>
		<itunes:author>Jerry Waxler</itunes:author>
		<itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit>
		<itunes:block>no</itunes:block>
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		<item>
		<title>5 Reasons why I read Brooke Shields&#8217; &#8220;Down Came the Rain&#8221; even though I avoid celebrity memoirs</title>
		<link>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/5-reasons-why-i-read-booke-shields-down-came-the-rain/</link>
		<comments>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/5-reasons-why-i-read-booke-shields-down-came-the-rain/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Apr 2008 10:12:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerrywaxler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief/Loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reading celebrity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/5-reasons-why-i-read-booke-shields-down-came-the-rain/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Jerry Waxler I typically avoid celebrity memoirs, not because they aren&#8217;t people too, but because their memoirs generally play by a different set of rules. Celebrities are generally given a free pass. If they are famous enough, they can &#8230; <a href="http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/5-reasons-why-i-read-booke-shields-down-came-the-rain/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/5-reasons-why-i-read-booke-shields-down-came-the-rain/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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