Comments on: Are Memoirs True?

By: Wendy Layne

Wendy Layne — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 21:13:03 +0000

I totally love your article. I have recently published my first book, Beyond the Present, and while the book touches on memories as far back as my childhood the memoir is specifically covering a 2 year period after my divorce from my first husband in 1996. Although my memories are vivid, there are often experiences that I write about which were perhaps during periods of heavy alcohol consumption and we all know that memories like that are often completely different than reality. My story is none-the-less real as those memories are the only memories that I have of the moments. I have also changed the names of the characters more to protect the guilty than the innocent and having done that it only made sense to change my own name in the book as well. While I’m anxious about the opinions of others who lived through some of that time with me, the bottom line is that this book is a book of MY memories and if they differ from the memories of others… well then to my readers I say, ….. write your own book!

By: jerrywaxler

jerrywaxler — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:05:41 +0000

Linda Joy,

I share your concern about the validity and impact of the memoir genre. Based on your memoir and book about writing memoirs, and in your organization, National Association of Memoir Writers, http://www.namw.org, I know your passion on the subject. Personally, I feel that the false memoirs are a tiny pebble on the sands of a huge beach, across which are crashing the lives and stories of millions of people, who continue to reach for their own inner truth, even as they occasionally slip on a pebble. In my opinion, the memoir wave is alive and well, and will continue to fill us with insights into the human condition.

Jerry

By: jerrywaxler

jerrywaxler — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 00:25:37 +0000

Hi Jo-Anne,

Thanks for dropping by, and thanks for the compliments. I’m delighted that you find value in these pages. I like your tag line “Conquer All Obstacles.” That’s a great goal for the new year.

Jerry

By: Jo-Anne Vandermeulen

Jo-Anne Vandermeulen — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 14:37:21 +0000

Hi Jerry;

Wow! Now here’s a person who loves to write, secure with his own identity, and is confident to share his beliefs. So nice to meet you. When I first read your introduction, I thought of shopping. How reading blogs is like roaming through the stores, peeking at all the spectacular merchandise. Here, on my laptop, I have this wealth of opportunity.
Anyway, you have a very interesting display and you present your thoughts very well.

Jo-Anne Vandermeulen
“Conquer All Obstacles”
Prolific Writer of Romantic Fiction
http://www.gr5mom2.wordpress.com

By: Linda Joy Myers

Linda Joy Myers — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 01:32:01 +0000

Dear Jerry,
Your wonderful essay shows how curious and generous you are with your fellow humans,. It invites all of us to follow your path–to see memory as fluid and not absolute, and to respect the best in all writers who present memoirs as their truth.
Unfortunately this week, the memoir world was rocked once more with another “false memoir,” and as in James Frey’s situation, it is not a problem with memory. There are authors who know they are making things up profoundly–not about colors or dialogue, but about core issues. In this case Mr. Rosenblatt fictionalized the love story that began during the Holocaust, which made the book Angel at the Fence so appealing. Oprah had the couple on her show twice, articles and interviews have taken place, and a children’s book was written about the story. It will be interesting to see how she responds this time.
Back to the issue for memoirists. This week agents and editors were quoted as saying they are going to be very careful of memoirs in the future, and demand rigorous fact checking.
This makes some writers clutch and entertain a serious case of writer’s block. I hope that the urgency to fact check all memoirs blows over, and people begin to distinguish between fluidity of memory and outright alteration with the goal of creating some kind of fame or effect–who knows the motivation for doing this kind of thing. But when a writer presents a memoir, it is understood that the power of the memoir is that the core of the story is true–as best the writer can present it.
I wrote an essay about this situation at NAMW, and no doubt it will be discussed more in the future. In the meantime, I hope memoirists, most of whom have great integrity about their writing and their memories, will continue to share their experiences in this very special form of story telling that enriches all our lives.

By: jerrywaxler

jerrywaxler — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 11:39:07 +0000

Thanks for the comment, Travelinoma. Your story highlights the fact that we have been shamed from the time we’re little not to tell stories, so when someone tells us a fact is “wrong,” it’s easy to experience a whole cascade of self-doubts. I’m glad you have found a way to steer through these well-intended “corrections” and come out with your dignity intact, as well as your determination to continue to share your stories.

By: Travelinoma

Travelinoma — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 06:15:18 +0000

I appreciate your opinions on this subject.

I write pieces of my memoirs on my blog, and regularly hear from my siblings that one or more of my details are not correct. (i.e. “The doll at grandma’s house had clothes.”) It makes me feel defensive. (Who cares? I remember the doll being naked!) But it does cast doubt on my memories. Since I’m the only one writing them down, does my version have to be perfect?

I have decided that the lessons I’ve learned in my life are my truth, and the minutiae is just the background. The works of scientists and historians are regularly updated with further research. I won’t be offended If someone wants to dispute the trivia of my recollections; they can always write their own memoir.